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[Zach twitches again, another forced change of personality.]

zACH.
Why are you so interested?

lAUREN.
I’m just curious.

zACH.
Curiosity killed the cat.

lAUREN.
But the cat died happy.

zACH.
Fifteen zip on the word tennis. Your favor.


lAUREN.
You’re awfully easy today.

zACH.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

lAUREN.
You must have an intimate relationship with that copy of Hamlet.

zACH.
We’re just good friends, but Ophelia doesn’t know that.

lAUREN.
A one night stand, eh?

zACH.
And I hid the body under my pillow.

lAUREN.
Devious.

zACH.
Hardly. They’ll find it eventually and increase my dosage.

lAUREN.
Fifteen all.

zACH.
All tied up.

lAUREN.
Just like us crazy kids.

zACH.
I gotta say, these strait jackets are rather stylish.

lAUREN.
And so comfortable.

zACH.
They keep you warm too.

lAUREN. 
They’re also good for your self-confidence.


zACH.
What?

lAUREN.
Well, you spend all day hugging yourself—I’d imagine you’d learn to love you.

zACH.
Thirty fifteen, your favor.

lAUREN.
Isn’t it always?

zACH.
You’re on top today.

lAUREN.
On top? On top of who? On top of you?

zACH.
I didn’t know lunatics could be flirtatious.

lAUREN.
Downright scandalous, really. So what about it, handsome?

zACH.
I think I’m going to give you a broken heart to go along with your broken head.

lAUREN.
30-30, and ow.

zACH.
Close game.

lAUREN.
Nonsense, you’re on the other side of the room.

zACH.
If I got any closer, I might notice how pretty you are.

lAUREN.
Such a gentleman.

zACH.
I lost my sanity, not my chivalry.


lAUREN.
30-45. You’re pulling ahead.

zACH.
I’d like to pull that doctor’s head clean off her shoulders.

lAUREN.
Why are you so pissed off at her?

zACH.
I’ve already told you. I hate this place and I hate these people. They’re all fake—they get out of this room, wipe the painted smile off their face and wish people like me didn’t exist.

lAUREN.
You’re paranoid.

zACH.
Well, Lauren, maybe I just see things differently than you.

lAUREN.
How do you see things, Zach?

zACH.
Clearly.

lAUREN.
30-60, you win.

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